I didn’t get around to it last night, but I meant to write a post about my day yesterday including the dream I had that morning. Seeing as I probably didn’t go to bed until after midnight, although I forget when it was. So read on while I tell you of the amazing dream that I had, and don’t forget that as cool as it sounds with me writing out what I remember, it was ten times as cool originally.

        The basis of the dream was that an extremely advanced alien race was slowly abducting random humans, and most of us didn’t remember anything about it. So who knows what kind of experiments they were running. However, every person they abducted gained at least a basic telepathic power, depending on their natural aptitudes. We all became connected to a telepathic sort of hive mind, allowing us to communicate with eachother by thought as well as hear eachother’s thoughts. Not many people knew about it, though, because they were too absorbed in their own thoughts to listen in on the thoughts of others. For most people, we would need to consciously tune out of ourselves in order to hear other people’s thoughts. People who don’t tend to think much, though, spent all of their time unconsciously listening in on the thoughts of anyone and everyone who happened to get abducted.

        So in my dream, I was unaware of what powers I might have because I didn’t know I had been abducted. I’d heard stories about it, though, so it wasn’t a crazy abstract concept that would make me go crazy if someone sent me a telepathic message. So the start of what I remember about my dream is that I was laying in bed, and apparently fantasizing about someone or another. Then, in my head, I hear my brother’s voice telling me that T-Snap (a stupid guy I used to know) was enjoying my thoughts. So I was like damn, I don’t want him hearing my thoughts! I hate that guy! So then I started trying to censor my thoughts and think about unimportant stuff, though I don’t remember anymore what I was thinking about. My brother sent me some more messages to explain why I hadn’t seen him in a long time, and somehow managed to communicate to me that he had gained the ability to teleport to places the alien race had set up thought harvesting devices for their own teleportation, including their grand library of infinite knowledge. So he went there and learned all kinds of crazy stuff and developed, like, every telekinetic power ever.

        At some point during all of that I actually woke up and continued laying in bed trying to censor my thoughts and seriously debating the idea of speaking all of my thoughts out loud. While anyone nearby would be able to hear them, that would probably mean fewer people than all the people who could listen to it if I thought it in my head.

        Then eventually I rolled over or something and realized I was no longer dreaming.

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        My grandparents brought our dog to us this past weekend, and so far she’s working on settling in. Because I’ve been outside working with my grandfather, and she loves him to bits, and because I hang out with her a lot (I leave blankets or clothes on the floor, and she makes herself a nice little bed out of them) she loves me a little less than him, so when we’re outside working she wants to be outside with us. Unfortunately, this means that she’s barked at and scared a few people who got too closer to our property. First it was our neighbour, as he was going into his house, and the thing about my dog is that she sounds like an attack dog twice her size in terms of weight. So he was pretty much terrified and didn’t stick around long enough for me to apologize after I brought her back home. This was her first act as the new Neighbourhood Menace.

        Yesterday, though, she was even worse. Back home, we left her out front on her leash for a couple of months when we were at school, and she was bestest buddies with the lady who delivered our mail. When we moved her leash out back, our mail lady asked us where she went, lol. So I know she’s not a vicious beast, you just have to acknowledge her as opposed to running off in fear. If you stop and say hi, she’ll warm up to you. If you run away as fast as you can, she’ll think she did a good job of defending her family and mark you as a target for the future.

        Unfortunately for our new mailman, he chose the second option. I had her on her leash under the carport, where we were hiding from the sun, and he walked by on the way to our neighbour’s house. She started barking and made a mad dash for him, and I pulled her back. Then she tried to go under the table we were sitting beside and nearly knocked it over, nearly pulling me over it in the process, which probably only scared the mailman more. So we’re definitely going on his mental list of crappy houses to deliver to, and if it happens again we might end up on the list of houses with dogs to look out for. But we’re working on fencing the back yard (it already has a hedge and a fence around most of it, so we just need to close it off) so she’ll be pretty harmless when we finish with that. Either she’ll be inside or have no way to get out of the back yard, so she shouldn’t scare anyone too badly.

        So that’s how my dog has become the Neighbourhood Menace within less than a week. Nobody around here has a big scary dog, so it’s somewhat new to these people to have her around. At least we’ll be protected from the big scary criminals here in the big scary city. Ain’t nobody gonna mess with something that sounds like her.

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        So the basic thing you need to understand about my grandfather is that he does whatever the hell he wants. If he doesn’t know how to do it, he’ll learn. He’s an electrician by trade, and he’s been working since he was six years old. He’s now 73. Skills I can confirm that he has: carpentry, car mechanic, boat mechanic, plumbing. Who knows what else he’s taught himself to do. I have stories to confirm all of those things, like how he built the house he and my grandmother STILL live in to convince her to marry him, or how he helped build a $400,000 modified hydraulic dump truck out of $30,000 worth of parts. But the moral of the story is that he’s basically the handiest handyman ever, and he’ll drop by to fix whatever problems you might have without any question of repayment. They live in New Brunswick, but he plans on coming back here (a 12 hour drive) after he collects some supplies back home, so he can redo a lot of our ancient and terrible electrical work. Chances are he won’t be back as soon as he thinks he will be, but I expect next time I see him I’ll learn how to install a new circuit in my house and which tools to use to drill through a concrete foundation.

        Yesterday, after finishing the construction of a handmade sliding gate for our deck, he began work on new handrails for the steps going off the back of the deck. Underneath one of the old rotted ones was a small hornet’s nest. Rather than think “bleh hornets better work around those” like a mere mortal, he smashed it open with a hammer and crushed three of the hornets that were inside one by one. There may have been a fourth, but again, it was a small nest. Then he wiped the dead hornets off the deck and got to work putting that new handrail on.

        This is the man who inspired my middle name, and I’d feel like such a badass if I built a house to convince a girl to marry me. If only it was the late 1950’s and there was land basically everywhere for people to spontaneously build on.