Guest post, courtesy of my wonderful friend Maxwell who typed up a great big seven-week exercise guide for you guys that takes up more space than I want to use here. And, really, if you want to exercise, you know to do whatever you can manage. When you can do more pushups than last week, you win. Yay for you!

        Wide arm push-ups: Just what they sound like, spread your arms as far away from each other while maintaining the push-up position, and then do the push-ups. The farther apart, the harder it is. Just imagine your pinning that hot chick between you and your locker, except the chick is really fuzzy and smells like your carpet.

        Triangle Push-ups: These are hard. If you can do these no problem, then you need to add on a ton more push-up exercises. In order to perform this streneous task, one must first construct a triangle (pylon?) with their thumb and index finger, while in push-up position, with your hands lined roughly with your chest. Then begin hating your life.

        Spider-man Push-ups: They do not make you shoot web from your hands. They make you wish you didn’t follow that guide that you found on tumbl'r. To perform these, assume the position (and clear that dirty mind of yours |:) go down like a regular push-up, but bring your knee up to your elbow each time you go down. Of course you want to alternate knees each time, unless you want to become that soccer freak with that one ripped leg.

        Alligator Push-up: This push-up would make Steve Irwin proud, if he was alive that is. To perform this wonderful exercise doesn’t take much effort, but it is suggested that you focus more on speed because you just want to finish the damned exercise. You assume the regular push-up position, except you slide one arm down to about where you hip is, and slide the other one around where your head is. You should be slightly bent at an angle, kind of like a alligator if it was crawling, then you do your push up, and then slide your other hand down to your hip, and the other one above your head, and repeat until you finish.

        Kelly Keith Push-ups: Don’t ask who he is, for all I know of him is the fact that he is a machine and these push-ups are named after his iron-clad body. You must assume the push-up position, but when you do the push-ups, do them with your elbows tucked against your ribs. When you go down, your elbows should point towards your feet, and you will want to stop all this forever. Then repeat.