I’ve collected some links to post, but there’s something personal I’d much rather post so I’m doing that instead. It’s not the least bit interesting, but if I’m going to be selfish and talk about something uninteresting, I may as well give people the choice to hear it or not. I feel bad whining about stuff to people I know, anyway, so here’s me avoiding that… while also doing it in the most economic way possible. Hah!

        Oh, and if you were terribly excited about me posting poetry, I don’t have my hands on it yet. You’ll see it when I do, though.

        So anyway, I’m still unemployed. In theory, that should be great, because I “could” sit around all day and play video games and just enjoy life. Then when I magically get a job, I’ve already had my vacation in advance. Problem is, that job isn’t coming along, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep looking. There are no metaphors severe enough to describe my rapidly sinking standards, but still, no job. The odds get worse the more time goes on, really: January was probably prime time for applying, April was probably an ok shot given that I’d have four months of work, and the start of June is really pushing it.

        It’s very easy to be pessimistic and say “nobody wants to hire me in a full time position for three months,” or “nobody is really hiring at this point anyway,” and things like that. It’s also easy to be a naive teenager and say things like “well, I might make two thousand bucks, but if I finish university with only two thousand bucks in debt, I’d be pretty happy.” Plus those things are a lot more fun than applying for jobs endlessly, either sending out e-mails or walking in and asking a manager if they’re hiring. That’s mainly just to make me feel better, though, and it feels a little bit false anyway.

        The whole crux of the problem is that my mom is being overly rational and future-oriented about all of this. I wouldn’t really be stressed out about not having a job if I didn’t have someone breathing down my neck saying “well what are you going to do? take the summer off and play video games? go on a trip with the last of your money and not be able to afford to do anything while you’re there?” My mom is awesome, first of all, so I’m not about to say “yo screw off MOM, I’m an ADULT NOW RAAAH.” It’s not that she doesn’t have a point, either. Even so, this cycle of feeling-good-and-applying > not-getting-the-job > feeling-terrible-and-useless > not-applying-to-jobs is not that great.

        Having money would be great, and jobs give you money, so in theory that would make having a job great. At what expense, though? Do I really want to flip burgers for three months?

        Anyway, you’ve now been spared the trouble of thinking of something new to say about this whole topic. Not for the first time, probably, since I don’t have much else to talk about lately. There are more jobs to apply for, and I’m sure one of them is finally going to be the one I get, but I’m not really feelin’ it.

        I’ll at least try to feel better about that, though. Makes life easier.