Pee-Ess-Pee

I got a PSP recently, and I just finished FF VII: Crisis Core today (great game, a lot of its features and aesthetic were carried on to FF XIII, but even Sephiroth is more likable than everyone from the latter). I’ve been playing a lot of Dissida 012, too, which is also great and probably the only fighting game I’ve ever loved. Mainly because it’s pretty much 100% an RPG.

        The third game I own, which I bought in order to snag a $50 discount on the cost of the PSP, is Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce. Let me tell you about this game. It’s going to be a lot less funny to read about, but I’m going to write it anyway so I never forget.

        When you select “new game” from the main menu, you’re given the choice between three dynasties. There’s a green guy (benevolent), a blue guy (likes talent?) and a red guy (noble, possibly evil). The nice guy sounded like an ok dude, so I picked him.

        Then I had to select from one of ten other guys. Wait, what? There’s a bunch of stuff that doesn’t make any sense until you start playing the game, so you just pick a guy that looks cool. I picked a guy with a big sword and maybe a spear hidden somewhere. Apparently, his name is Mu Chao.

        For choosing the green guy, I got to watch a little cinematic about how he wants to help people and some warriors united under his banner. Then the narrator tells you “they gathered together and rose up like a dragon.”

        Ten seconds later, they start glowing, turn into a dragon, and fly away.

        A clear sign that this game is going to be well worth the negative ten bucks I paid for it. The ancient Chinese art of “turning oneself and companions into a dragon.” A lost art, obviously.

        Some general tells you to go check the notice board, so you do, and there’s a mission to go beat up some bandits. Great, tutorial mission!

        Or not, because the game doesn’t tell you the controls. In fact, it doesn’t tell you anything. You just press buttons and people die. You get points the more people you slaughter, and at the end of a mission, your points are converted into something else and you get experience points. I levelled up, and either because of that or from the mission, I gained proficiency points in a few weapons and ability points (defense, attack, life, etc.) and I still don’t know what any of that means.

        Will I play this game for more than an hour? Who knows! As long as it’s easy and silly, it could be worth firing it up every once in a while.