I got some free headphones with my new phone, and they weren’t bad as far as free headphones go. Better sound quality than the piece of crap $15 Skullcandy earbuds I bought a year ago, and they had a button that would play/pause anything playing on my phone. Neat! So I stopped using the crappy, uncomfortable, terrible sound quality Skullcandy headphones, which I only bought out of desperation because I couldn’t find my usual $10 Sony ones.

Last week, the left earbud stopped working unless you tweaked the cord in a specific way. Fine, I can live with this, I’ve got to power through an assignment anyway. Nope! A few hours later, the other earbud gives out too. Well, shit. Now I have to listen to dumb people while I’m trying to concentrate. But, ok, I’ll just stay on campus really late and there won’t be anyone around to bug me. Fine, it all works out, I get my old headphones back and stuff. Sucks, but it’ll do.

But everyone who uses earbuds seems to go on about how they “used those white iPod headphones for years and they worked fine!” So when my dad had to replace his iPhone after dropping it (screen shattered, bits of broken glass in his hand, etc.), I snagged the headphones that came with it. They worked just fine listening to music in iTunes, and were slightly less uncomfortable than the Skullcandy pair, and all was well.

Then I tried to use the headphones with my phone. My Android phone. And it sounds like ass. Like someone is sitting on my ears, specifically. Also, like the audio was playing in slow motion. Then being filtered through tinfoil.

Still sounds fine playing music through iTunes. This is what they call a conspiracy, folks. And I have no idea what it means to be “like an Apple product,” because a certain mysterious internet vigilante (who is in hiding) never finished their simile. Maybe it means to be spiteful and refuse to work well with others? The world may never know.

[I bet you thought you missed me until you read this]