Microsoft OneNote

Through my university, there’s some Microsoft thing where they can give us Microsoft software and other stuff for free, except Microsoft Office which they think we’ll be willing to pay for. So the end result is that I downloaded Windows 7 for free, and that’s great, and then I torrented Microsoft Office on the university wi-fi. At the time I didn’t install Microsoft OneNote (part of the greater Office suite) because I had no idea what it was, then I was at a bus stop yesterday and saw an ad for it. Essentially, it’s supposed to be a “virtual notebook,” allowing you to type wherever you want on the page, draw/write if you have a tablet, paste pictures, whatever.

        I’ve been taking notes in WordPad thus far, just typing as my professor speaks basically, and so far this hasn’t been a problem because I haven’t actually had to read over my notes. I do have a folder for each of my classes, but each has a simple “COMP1005” text file where the class number and date are the only thing to distinguish where and when something happened.

        As a form of self-promotion, I guess, and because it’s meant to be really useful to us, OneNote is offered for free through the school without any of the other Office programs. I guess I would have had an older version with the Office that I torrented, but that’s alright. I got it and installed it, and here’s the surprising part: it seems really damn good. I’ve seen Mac users with a similar program that looks a whole lot snazzier, so likely that’s where they got the idea, but either way: this is an awesome idea.

        Here’s how it’s set up: you create as many “notebooks” as you like (which are a lot like folders, used just for OneNote) displayed along the left side. Inside each notebook are a number of tabs along the top, which could be your to do list or your different classes or what have you. Then inside each tab, you add as many pages as you like, displayed along the far right side. This sounds confusing, but imagine your notebook or binder: you may have one for each class, or each day of classes. If you’re well-organized, you may have separators (tabs) to separate your homework from your notes or something like that. Then each of those tabs has as many pages as you need. Currently, I’ve got two binders: one for my monday/wednesday classes, and one for tuesday/thursday. Then I have separators labelled for my classes in chronological order.

        OneNote, then, managed to replicate that perfectly, with the bonus of to do lists per day. I could also have a universal to do list in a miscellaneous folder, for the long term. Or I could add in a calender. I can do this shit, unlike WordPad or MS Word. I add a new page for each day of classes (under the tab of the class itself) and go on my way. Add a tab for important projects. Tada! Everything in one place.

        Moral of the story is that this is infinitely better than text files or .pdfs or whatever else you might have been using on the computer, and likewise it has many advantages over your physical pen and paper. If you’re allowed to take notes on your computer, this would be wonderful. If you can’t, that’s a shame. At any rate I love this program, and I never thought I’d say that about a Microsoft program. It uses nearly the same amount of memory as MS Word (20k), and about a third more than simple WordPad (15k), so it’s not like it’s a huge memory drain either. I just have to convert the notes I’ve already taken and then we’ll be golden.

        GOLDEN.

Two things: one, I am busy sometimes because life screws up and homework piles up instead of getting done. Two, I am sad/tired, and this makes me forgetful and disinclined to write.

I had things to say but I no longer remember them because I’ve been away from the internet for so long because of life.

I don’t even know, man.

Give me the strength to move this mountain, to block this line of sight…

Roughly two years ago now, my girlfriend of nearly a year and I broke up. The stress from school and what I was feeling because of that got to the point where I felt justified in giving up, and so I did. I caved under the pressure, and I let myself go for a long time. I can’t say, really, when it was that I collected the scattered pieces of myself. Maybe it was later that year (end of 11th grade), or maybe it wasn’t until the middle of last year (12th grade) when AP English grabbed me and shook me around a little. Either way, my average slipped in 11th grade, before ending strong in 12th.

        Entrance scholarship money at my university is based on your marks for the first semester of grade 12 and all of 11th grade. Basically, my 90% average meant nothing, because their calculations left it in the 85-90% range. At 85%, you received $2000. At 90%, you received $3000. If that were a one-time sum, that wouldn’t be so bad. But it’s renewable every year, provided you have the right grades, and so that’s a “potential” loss of $4000. If I don’t manage the A- required to keep it (something like 83%, which I feel relatively comfortable with), sure, I decrease that potential loss of money, as if that’s a good thing. The end result is that I lost out on at least a thousand bucks because I wanted to be miserable.

        I cried when Britt and I broke up, which is something I don’t do often. Never with anyone around, though, because I had to put on a strong face to keep people from knowing just how little they really knew about our relationship. Sure, they knew I put too much importance on her, but they didn’t know just how bad it was. So I didn’t let them find out.

        I cried in public on saturday, and that’s something I haven’t done since I was eleven.

        But I can’t afford to let myself slip this time. I know the stakes now, and I know the consequences for even momentary lapses in commitment.

        I don’t expect I’ll go for professional treatment, though my parents have offered it repeatedly. It may be biased, it may be unfair, but I’ve always had a feeling that I don’t need that kind of stuff. In my mind, I think of it as meant for “other people.” There’s nothing wrong with the “other people,” really, and I have nothing against them. If that’s what floats their boat, then everyone’s happy. I just like to build my own little raft and set off into the unknown.

        It’s rough learning this stuff on the fly, but experience is a wonderful teacher. I gots my little raft a-floatin’ just fine.

        In retrospect, I realize that I hold an untraceable prejudice against psychiatry that has always been prevalent and problematic for the profession. It’s not something I’ve been taught or otherwise told, it’s just there in my head. I certainly don’t judge people who go for professional help, but it’s quite possible I’ve ultimately hurt people by unconsciously spreading my unrealistic philosophy of independence. Ho-hum. Something to think about.